Meditating on the True Nature of Self
I want to guide you through an experience of directly encountering the true nature of self—not the small, egoic, limited self, but the expansive awareness that underlies all experience.
A Different Path to Realization
Before we dive into the meditation, let me share a bit about my own journey. Unlike traditional paths of spiritual practice, my understanding and realization came through a non-typical route. From a young age, I was introduced to binaural beats and hemi-sync meditation tapes, which led to spontaneous out-of-body experiences. I’ve always been a vivid and lucid dreamer, and from my preteen years, I had deep questions about consciousness and existence.
Early Curiosity and Seeking
As a child, I remember questioning whether others experienced the world as I did. I vividly recall asking my mom if others tasted food the same way I did. This curiosity about the subjective nature of experience laid the groundwork for my later explorations.
In my early teens, I became a spiritual seeker. Although my path took on greater depth in my late twenties, it was driven by a desire to understand the nature of self and to find liberation from the suffering caused by severe anxiety.
Suffering as a Catalyst
My journey through anxiety was both challenging and transformative. Despite building a successful career and a beautiful family, the anxiety colored my experience of life. However, this suffering was necessary to unveil the ego and its distortions.
Realization and Liberation
Through cognitive behavioral therapy and spiritual practices, I began to see my thoughts as distortions of reality. This practice of labeling and examining thoughts helped me recognize that the ego’s fears and judgments were not reflective of true reality.
The Ego’s Game
The ego plays both offense and defense, creating and reacting to its own thoughts. It’s like a one-man show, generating fears and then trying to combat them. Seeing this pattern was a crucial step in my realization.
Meditation as a Tool
Now, let's shift to the practical aspect of this episode: the meditation. This meditation is designed to help you experience awareness beyond the egoic self.
Guided Meditation: Experiencing Awareness
Preparation
Find a comfortable seated position.
You can close your eyes or keep them open, whichever feels more natural.
Body Awareness
Begin by feeling your body as a whole.
Notice the sensations in your feet, legs, torso, arms, and head.
Feel the aliveness, the vibration, the heartbeat, and the breath.
Sensory Awareness
Shift your attention to the sounds around you. There is just hearing.
Be aware of the darkness behind your closed eyes or the visual field if your eyes are open. There is just seeing.
Notice any taste in your mouth. There is just tasting.
Be aware of any smells. There is just smelling.
Integrating Sensory Awareness
Can you hold awareness of all these sensations at once? There is just sensing.
Inner Awareness
Turn your attention inward to your thoughts.
Observe thoughts as they arise, exist, and pass. There is just arising and knowing of what arises.
Deeper Inquiry
Ask yourself: Who is it that is aware? What is it that sees, hears, feels, tastes, and smells?
Notice that there is no specific point internally that you can identify as "me."
Pure Awareness
Realize that there is just awareness—open, complete, and unchanging.
This awareness has been constant throughout your life, giving life to the world by illuminating it.
Closing Thoughts
I hope this meditation has been helpful. Remember, the ego’s suffering does not touch the true nature of who you are. Awareness is the most valuable thing you have to offer because it is what you are.
Thank you for sharing this time with me and for bringing your awareness to this practice. Stay present, stay aware, and recognize the divine nature within you. You are already whole and complete.